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Game characters and games they'd totally suck at

We love our video game heroes. Mario, Pac Man, the little Galaga Spaceship - but few people realize that, if those characters had appeared in *different* games, today nobody would care about them any more...

(submissions for Video Game Characters who's Suck At Other Games)

Sure, the Sims are cool and all, but put them into Modern Warfare and their floating green gems turn into life hazards!

Mario is the grandfather of all Jump'n'Runs. He jumped around before MasterChief even wet his cybernappies. And yet - compared to the classes in Tribes he pretty much sucks:

Cinema Snob and Brows Held High do Shakespeare

Two of my favourite online reviewers tackling a Troma adaptation of the greatest love story of all times:

Important life lessons

Some submissions that didn't make it, about lessons some people appear to need:

How US politicians see the world...

How US politicians see the world...

Dick Jokes

"Make famous photos filthy with censorship!", cracked shouted.

And I complied - as usual. Made it into the article twice too - but all in all it's just another dick in the wall, so pardon me if I want this to be over with dick... errr.... Quick!

Secret Backstories to Classic Video Games

My submissions for Unseen Backstories of Classic Video Games:

A possible explanation for the weird and twisted things Mario encounters on his adventures:

Why the Space Invaders are so angry:

Only few historians know that Mario was an agent in the French Revolution and was sent to find the Princess so she could be put on the guillotine like her parents!

Some things start so small...:

More Fun with Movies

Damn, I'm starting to lag behind with these... Okay - here we go: When the topic for photoplasties on cracked.com was Disastrous changes to movies I came up with the following images:

Entry number one today is Luke Skywalker, driving his environment friendly Landspeeder:

Then a scene from the climactic ... errr ... climax of the movie "King":

Hollywood doing Propaganda

When Cracked wondered what'd happen If famous pictures were turned into Propaganda posters of course I had some suggestions of my own...

Like James Bond selling warbonds:

Chairman Mao and his Red Rangers:

Less famous siblings of fictional characters

Oh - I almost forgot to post this, had it prepared and all...

When Cracked was looking for Less famous siblings of fictional characters I, of course submitted a few too.

First there's Fred of Nazareth (who made it into the main article):

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