Hyas there!
I did what I wanted to do in a long time and finally am able to present the first movie review on my little page. Okies, I have to work on the layout a little for this, and it's only a quickie on the fly review, I know. I wanted m y first review either to be of a really good movie, so you could see what I'm measuring against or at least a good, CLASSIC, bad movie, together with in debth analysis, scene fotos and the usual "things that I learned from this movie" jokes we all love on pages like badmovies.org. But today, out of boredom I came across such a creepy stinker, that I, instead, present you with a little rant about a movie, made by people who are kind of stuck in the medieval times between their ears. I present to you: The Moment After!
OH MY GOD!
Wow...
Words kinda fail me...
Noooo, not really, in fact:
What a horrible piece of shite, and on so many different levels too!
Let me explain:
This is a movie about the end times. "Cool!", you might say, "Motorbikes, leatherclad futurepunks, stuff blowing up and all that! And ZOMBIES! I LOVES ZOMBIES!". Nnnnnope. Even though this movie seems to have been made BY some kind of zombies there's none in it. Also there's no roadwarriors and none of the other elements you might EXPECT from an end-time movie. Oh noes.
This is a CHRISTIAN end-time-movie...
Here's what happens: One nice morning, judging from the cars and costumes probaply tomorrow or so, literally BILLIONS of people vanish from planet earth, symbolized by a few empty clothes lying around everywhere, a mum crying for her vanished daughter (creeepyyyy) and some "fill me in"-newscasts.
What noone at this moment realises: That's supposed to be a *good* thing, because, you know... Errr... God took them home or something. Yeah, eat your heart out, X-Files, you never had to deal with a case of THAT magnitude, did you? With all your monsters, demons and aliens (oh my!) you NEVER were up against the big bearded guy in the sky!
You see: After 6000 years of wars, plagues, famines and general miserability HE decides that today's the day where he'll snatch up all the true believers into the heavens heavens, because... because... well, because it's in the bible, that's why. So with a little flash of light (and leaving behind only their clothes and a mild scent of lilacs, that's style for you) all over the world people simply vanish. Tearing apart friends and families, leaving planes without pilots and cars without drivers and causing general panic and mayhem (and one has to wonder how HE will explain the absence of her parents to that cute little girl that's now standing nude nude in front of him. Creepy... I tell ya!).
LEFT BEHIND (hey! there's a series of christian books with that title, I wonder what it's about?) are all the doubters, who might have a chance to convert and get into the metaphorical last chopper out of Saigon, and the rest, evil people like me who mock this movie, atheists, muslems and jews (oh my!), hindus, rednecks and rappers and so on. Oh, and a few ppl who actually are kind of true believers and who stay behind to start forming militias to fight evil at once.
Evil, or the Antichrist, here is represented by the United Nations (because, you know, they're out to rule the earth! Honest, they are!), implanted chips and THE GOVERNMENT. Please forgive me not to go into details too deep, it's your basic usual conspiracy nutjob pile of nonsense.
And then there's two FBI agents (or CIA, I really don't care anymore) who follow up some lost person's cases, and a jewish rabbi who cuts of his beard and converts to J and starts a resistance group. Yaddayaddayadda...
It becomes pretty tough to focus on the plot AND keep my suspension of disbelief-cirquits running at the same time, the actors and the budget aren't really that good, and the story is so ... OLD... In this version of the Left Behind story you don't even get any get big battles between good and evil, just a bit conspiracy back and fro, nothing noteworthy.
What truly creeps me out about this movie is that if you can believe google, it's appearing on none of the numerous B-Movie reviewing pages out there that I love so much. Furthermore, the reviews you DO find are by loads of people for whom this movie seems to be based on factual events, about to happen pretty soon. No matter if it's a childcare page (!), reviews in papers or blogs - the general tone is that the movie is a really good one which is to be shown to friends and families, to help them prepare for the things to come. Wow.
You thought only Muslims to blow themselves up and murder others whilst doing so in order to get some bouncy-bouncy are weird? Think again folks...
Rating: 1/5 (Neither actors or production values of any value, a really creepy story, if you thinks about it, and loads of mainly American people actually believing in this stuff to be true... *Shudder*)