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While my Guitar gently leaks - Music by the Beatles, Words by me

Inspired by THIS photo:

Hey look, can't you all see a crack there there that's dripping
While my guitar gently leaks
I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping
Still my guitar gently leaks

I don't know why nobody told me
This was a bad idea
I don't know how someone controlled me
Made me go out to sea

I look at the world and I only see water
While my guitar gently leaks
And this stupid thing ain't equipped with a radar (yah, that rhyme hurt, but I'm doing my best here)
Still my guitar gently leaks

It seems that my sentence is spoken
I might die horribly
I didn't know that the compass was broken
No one alerted me

Since four days nothing left to drink but my own pee
Still my guitar gently leaks
I look at the sharks while they look back quite hungry
While my guitar gently leaks

How Pros "pwn" on youtube

Nice - a US rightwing loonie sends out a creepy video, threatening liberal bloggers and vloggers with brimstone and hellfire - and Chenk's reaction to it is just sugar:

The Horrible Truth about Everyday Foodstuffs

20 Terrifying Theories About How They Make Famous Products is only what Cracked showed you last week. There is much more you hoped you'd never find out about what you eat or drink...

Are you, for example, a vegetarian who prefers vegetables and salads over meat, because you think no animals get killed for them? Only few people know that, only for one small salad, Eskimo hunters have to kill a grown sea lion!

Short Stack break up causes airline pilot to flip out!

God, I love this story AngryAussie brings to our attention here: Imagine being scared of flying and then landing in the same plane as the mentioned pilot:

Messing with movie posters

Another of the topics I completely failed to make points in last week on cracked was If Movie Posters Were Sarcastic - I somehow didn't really get that many ideas out of that, so I simply messed with some movie posters in general. I guess some are okay on their own:

SFDebris reviews: Voyager - The Thaw

I fully agree with SFDebris on this one - this is one of the few really *good* (as in: actually good and not just above average for Voyager) Voyager episodes.

I'd even go so far as to say it is actually a good *Star Trek* episode - breathing the spirit of the old series, and not just because of it's wild colour schemes... ^^

Spoony reviews: Tekken - Blood Vengeance

Oh. My. God.

I dare to say that what Spoony has discovered here has got to be THE single most retarded "martial arts movie" ever! And this includes bullshit like those 80's "American Ninja"-flics...

But don't take my word for it - just have a look:

Video Game Side Characters: Where Are They Now?

Last week cracked asked their forums to come up with theories about where side-characters in video games hang around today - here's my submissions, no winner this time:

Portal II's Wheatley still is in space:

And the GLaDOS memory cores have found a job:

Former Lucas Arts Star Purple Tentacle from Maniac Mansion started a career in adult movies:

While Mario's sidekick Luigi... Well...

Kony 2012 debunked

All the World talks about "Kony 2012" and "Invisible Children", so I guess I have to as well.

Or actually - not really, this gentleman here puts it into words much better than I can:

And if you doubt his claims about Invisible Children basically being nothing more than a fundamentalist Christian PR firm - here's the fucker himself, admitting it right out front:

Also in this video he tells his audience about his troubled youth and how the Lord Jebuz saved him from suicide - with slight hints that let me think he might be one of those guys who "prayed their gay away" - which could go a long way in explaining his recent "running around nude on the street masturbating and shouting f-bombs at Satan" breakdown...

Poor guy - seems like he might have been nothing but a naive tool, but now he's broken...

Moebius died last week

Comic book artist Moebius dies (AFP) March 11

Goodbye John Difool! Farewell Blueberry! Jean Giraud was one of the really "big" ones in the European Comic Scene and also involved in projects like "Alien" or "Tron".

In Search of Moebius - Jean Giraud clip1/3 von foivosloxias